Hiya!

I’d be honoured.

Definitely the best way to listen JF!

Sounds like that was a roller coaster! :) I’m playing and singing everything there. The only thing there that’s not mine is the laughter track, which I wanted to be as generic as possible. I’ll post the lyrics with translation of the Portuguese parts.

If I had a light

I would find my way home

If I had a dream

I wouldn’t mind being alone

I would climb the steps

On my own

I would climb the steps

On my own

If I had known

I would have changed everything

It’s not regret

It’s this other thing

Take a look outside

Tell me what you see

Then lie and lie again

Have some mercy on me

If I had a light

I’d take it on the chin

Don’t be silly now

We knew this day would come

It may take a little while

But it gets everyone

If I had a light

I’d take it on the chin

So here I am.

I remember a Past that didn’t exist. I remember a future as it appeared before me in a past that no longer exists.

And although I never had that future, I miss it. I miss having that future. It looked promising and happy and quiet and a part of the world around me.

But that future never existed. It was never going to exist. Because the Past I remember didn’t exist either.

Gostava de poder voltar a ter esse futuro. (I wish I could have that future back)

So here I am.

If I were to break myself down (and why would I want to do that?) piece by piece, I’m afraid I’d quickly realise that all those pieces don’t really amount to much. It just looks that way because you can’t help but look at it through your hopes and fears, I’m afraid.

I’m afraid I can’t do that.

I’m afraid there’s not much more than can be done.

I’m afraid I’m running late.

I’m afraid I might be a failure.

No. Best not say these things out loud. They are not supposed to be inflated with the breath of life. “Oh, poor little guy...”. And that right there is proof that not only are you a failure but you’re also pathetic.

And there’s nothing worse than being pathetic. Well, maybe being ugly.

Não consigo retirar daqui grandes consequências práticas. Não que as tivesse de haver. Mas era um pormenor simpático. (I can’t infer any practical consequences from this. Not that I had to. But it would be a nice little detail.)

Found myself there one day

On the back of the wheel

Looking at everything through the corner of my eye

Not sure what was real

I ran into this girl

She said “what are you doing back here?

I thought you’d left

Did you miss us, my dear?”

And then she laughed

I didn’t think it was all that funny

But I didn’t say a word

I just said yes, thank you, please, good bye

And prayed I wasn’t heard

I looked around and saw a shuttered window

Then I looked around and saw a few more

Felt like this was an aftermath

And I had missed the war

And then I cried

There was a billboard on the town square

It had my face on it

It said something about heroes and traitors

And I guess I was on the wrong side of it

I drove past the house where I grew up

And it wasn’t there

I drove past where I had my first heartbreak

And it wasn’t there

I drove past where I was told to give up

And it wasn’t there

I drove past where I once cried when I realised you become what you hate

And it wasn’t there

I drove past my old school

And it wasn’t there

I drove past where I’d run off to to be alone

Away from everyone

And now there’s no one here

And I saw my mother

And I saw my dog

And I saw the pine trees

And I saw the fog

Who do you think you are?

Era uma vez um menino a quem perguntaram “não preferias ser bom da cabeça?”. E ele respondeu: “Eu? E deitar fora este equilíbrio de insanidade que tanto tempo me demorou a construir?”

(Once upon a time there was this boy and he was asked “wouldn’t you rather be good in the head?”. And he answered: “Me? And throw away this balance of insanity it’s taken me so long to put together?”

Era uma vez um miúdo que disse assim: “ah eu cá não quero nada disto. E não é a mim que me obrigam!”

(Once upon a time there was this boy who said this “I don’t want any of this! And no one is going to make me!”

Aprendi onde cresci que os falhanços eram todos meus e as vitórias todas sorte imerecida. É um esquema ardiloso que está ali montado. Até porque todas as tentativas de o denunciar, dão com a tromba no muro do “olha a fazer-se de coitadinho!”.

Aprendi lá que todos os falhanços são nossos e de que não adianta olhar muito lá para cima se aquilo que mereço e para o qual estou destinado, está lá em baixo.

Aprendi a sentir-me uma fraude quando as coisas corriam bem. Aprendi a sentir-me culpado pelo peso que carrego nos ombros, por o peso ser pesado.

Pois.

(I learned, where I was born, that all my failures were mine, and all victories undeserved luck. It’s a well thought out scheme they’ve got there. All attempts of denouncing it hit head first against the wall of “oh look at the poor little boy playing the victim!”.

I learned there that all failures are ours and it’s no use looking up if that which you deserve is down there. I learned how to feel like a fraud when things went fine. I learned how to feel guilty about the weight I carry on my shoulders. About how heavy that weight is.

Right.)

I want to tell you baby how much I feel

I’ve got so many feelings that make me real

If I had a light I’d take it on the chin

I want to tell you baby how much I feel

I’ve so many feelings, they make me real

If I had a light I’d take it on the chin

I want to tell you baby everything I feel

I’ve got so many feelings, I think I’m real

If I had a light I’d take it on the chin

Well now I have told you my story

I hope I’ve told it well

And I hope you go away with something

You can take straight to hell

Well and if you were to ask me

What I tried to tell you

I could tell you a bunch of things

But it’s just that there is beauty in truth 

@Tom Joad Thanks. I will listen again tomorrow with the lyrics in front of me.

Thanks! 😀 Specially for the part about things getting better. I

guess no one is having it easy these days.

@Tom Joad Very few, I think, but still, some have it harder than others.

So while this doesn't really sound quite like anything I've heard, it does feel in places at least slightly redolent of some Sonic Youth, some Yo La Tengo, some Television, some Velvets, and maybe a tiny smattering of Uncle Tupelo or Sun Kil Moon and that's all most excellent stuff as far as I'm concerned.

“This doesn’t really quite sound like anything I’ve heard” has to be one of the best compliments. Thank you! :)

The whole thing is on bandcamp now as well streaming and for sale. Too bad bandcamp doesn’t allow a song to be that big, I had to cut it in 3. https://diogoaugusto.bandcamp.com/album/if-i-had-a-light-id-take-it-on-the-chin-2?fbclid=IwAR2Px81oo4y-ZLVCBPPZpLZ07xEzYVxK8PdLjfQFM2_XIFIw4Q-LSTJFL1w