No matter how stunning any new release might be, after a week or so, I keep returning desperately to my beloved Joad shows, like an addict would for the fix.
Both aspects, the dysfunctional relationships and the socio political themes, are making it irresistible for me to find peace elsewhere. I'm having difficulties identifying exactly how this tour is making me feel. Disillusioned would be the closest, but it's more than that. There's resignation, but it isn't hopeless. Bruce remains warm and caring, and the tour feels like a good friend giving me a strong hug and a kiss on my forehead. On demand.
All other tours are like places I'd go to have fun, maybe even get hurt... Joad is my musical home. I feel so homesick without it, it has outgrown the usual admiration for a particular tour.
I thought I would get tired of it eventually, but I know now this is unlikely going to happen. I'm doomed with Joad, taking a masochistic delight in confronting uncomfortable truths.